Soooo...after creating this blog what seems like one hundred years ago, I've decided to try and commit to updating it once in a while from now on. I'm not aware anyone even knows this little spec in cyberspace exists (I often forget it does) but typing out all my random thoughts/ideas onto a blog may be just the creative outlet I have been looking for.
The past few weeks I've had this weird feeling of underlying uneasiness. I'm not sure why; it could be the gradual build up of uni assignments that I've been avoiding, or lurking feelings from my recently deceased relationship...nevertheless, a phone call with my Grandmother in England this evening whilst enroute to a friends house put a huge smile on my face.
My Grandma has been cleaning out the spare bedroom. I have a lot of memories from this room...it was where I would play with my sisters or cousins when I was younger, paint, draw, dress up, and sleep when I stayed over.
When my Grandma announced she was taking the books from the book shelves to a local kids charity, a feeling of pure shock and anxiety suddenly came over me, and I literally stopped walking! The idea of taking story books that had probably not been opened in years to kids who would really enjoy them is obviously great...but at the same time I have so many memories of them; copying their illustrations, covering a gravy boat in tin foil pretending it was Aladdin's lamp, feeling scared from reading the story or being happy and wishing I was Cinderella going to the ball with Prince Charming (I always wanted my own pair of glass slippers).
After a few seconds I managed to 'gather myself' and resumed walking. Yes, I do share many memories with those books; but at some point we have to let go of things
in our lives and just keep the memories and good times in our minds and learn to move on.
We all have to move on at some point..and at the end of the day, I'm sure (and sincerely HOPE) the books will go on to inspire and bring the same amount of happiness to other kids as they did to me.
This idea can be applied to so many areas of my life right now...unfortunately moving
on is often easier said than done.
On a brighter note, following my frantic, anxiety fuelled breakdown over the phone
about the books being sent away - whilst praying to god my Grandma had not donated my singularly favourite book from my childhood (The Fairytales of Brothers Grimm) - I was promptly reassured. The book is safely locked up in a chest in her bedroom (and no pumpkin carriage or flying carpet will be taking it anywhere near a charity store anytime soon!). And so the conversation continued, I breathed a sigh of relief, and lived happily ever after...
...for now!
xoxoxo
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